"In The End It Took Me A Dictionary To Find Out The Meaning Of ‘Unrequited’ …"

One of the few German followers on my blog, Dirk from Sexyloser, posted a contribution (seldom enough but when then with high quality) that made me smile and my thoughts drifted back into the my very younger days. It depends to the nature of menkind all negative experiences they were made to fade out and to store in the very back corner of the brain. It is like a hidden chamber you normally don’t want to enter. But sometimes like in this case you get your key and open this chamber.

While reading Dirks post I also had to think back to the time when I came to the puberty. It was the time in which one wanted (you know what I mean) and still had no plan to get it. Of course there were some guys they knew how to get it but it was impossible to copy them. Either they were better in sports or they looked much smarter (that’s exactly what The Jam described in David Watts). Anyway, you had to go your own way and check out what makes you unique.

Okay, now back to my story: It was at the time when I started my education. Beside the real education in the company we had to visit for the theoretical education twice a week the trade school. One of my deficiencies at that time was, that I mostly have come too late to appointments. As usual I came also too late to the first teaching hour in trade school. There was only one free seat in the first row. So I sat down and I introduced me to the girl beside me. As far as I can remember her name was Doris. She was a pretty girl with shoulder-length brown hair and blue-green eyes. In the course of the next weeks we have made friends and have also arranged to meet several times. In the times before mobile phones and computers we sent us some letters and of course I made some tapes for her. Although she gave me with her smile some hope but it happened nothing more than some shy kisses. If I forced my intentions I always get stopped and don’t know why. I got no explanation from her to my questions. I got the explanation a few days later when I saw her holding hands with another guy. That’s a lesson I learned: don’t have too much expectations into your aims. Of course I changed the seat in trade school.

I also didn’t see her again after finishing my education. And I also don’t know what happened to the tapes I made for her (and others). Presumably they were already thrown in the garbage but if not I would like to know if these persons will still listen to it.

Billy Bragg made a song in which he chanted exactly about these experiences.

Billy Bragg – Walk Away Renee

She said it was just a figment of speech

And I said, “You mean figure?”

And she said, “No, figment”

Because she could never imagine it happening

But it did.

When we first met I played the shy boy

And when she spoke to me for the first time

My nose began to bleed

She guessed the rest

The next day we went on a bus ride to the ferry

And when nobody came to collect our fares

Well, I knew then this was something special

I couldn’t stop thinking about her

And every time I switched on the radio

There was somebody else singing a song about the two of us

It was just like being on a fast ride at the funfair

The sort you wanna get off because it?s scary

And then as soon as you?re off

You wanna get straight back on again

But our love is strange

And you have to take the crunchy with the smooth I s’pose

She began going out with Mr Potato Head

It was when I saw her in the car park

With his coat around her shoulders that I realized

I went home and thought about the two of them together

Until the bath water went cold around me

I thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts

And about the point where their bodies met

I confronted her about it.

I said, “I?m the most illegible bachelor in town.”

And she said, “Yea, that’s why I can never understand

Any of those silly letters you send me.”

And then one day it happened

She cut ‘er hair and I stopped lovin’ ‘er


4 thoughts on “"In The End It Took Me A Dictionary To Find Out The Meaning Of ‘Unrequited’ …"

  1. I think it should be ruled by law that young boys are being taught in school not to fancy girls which are their age: this NEVER works out I found, as they ALWAYS fancy the bloke from one class above.

  2. Wrong song, my dear… 😉
    I owe you so much for introducing me to Billy when I was a kid. His first 3 albums (compiled to “Back to Basics” on CD) will always be my all-time favorites.

    I'll never forget the first day I met her
    That september morning was clear and fresh
    The way she spoke and laughed at my jokes
    And the way she rubbed herself
    Against the edge of my desk
    She became a magic mystery to me
    And we'd sit together in double
    History twice a week
    And some days we'd walk the same way home
    And it's surprising how quick
    A little rain can clear the streets
    We dreamed of her and compared our dreams
    But that was all that I ever tasted
    She lied to me with her body you see
    I lied to myself 'bout the chances I'd wasted

    The times we were close
    Were far and few between
    In the darkness at the dances in the school canteen
    Did she close her eyes like I did
    As we held each other tight
    And la la la la la la la la means I love you

    She danced with me and I still hold that memory
    Soft and sweet
    And I stare up at her window
    As I walk down her street
    But I never made the first team,
    I just made the first team laugh
    And she never came to the phone
    She was always in the bath
    I had to look in the dictionary
    To find out the meaning of unrequited
    While she was giving herself for free
    At a party to which I was never invited

    I never understood my failings then
    And I hide my humble hopes now
    Thinking back she made us want her
    A girl not old enough to shave her legs

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